This diary entry was found scribbled on a face mask outside of 721 Fifth Avenue. It has been examined by several laboratory scientists who have concluded that it was written by a muroid rodent, commonly referred to as a rat. Furthermore, after examining the disdainful tone of the excerpt, sociologists and zoologists have concurred that it is with 100% certainty that they can say it was written by a rat native to New York City, aged approximately 27 months, or 67 human years.


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